Now, Faith...

I have a sensitive heart.

I worry about dogs wandering the side of the road, butterflies in traffic, and kids who seem sad.

I carry these things with me--all the time--until, after a while, they get heavier, and heavier, and I break down. I give them to God, and I lay them down. And then when I'm feeling strong enough, suddenly I find myself in a new day, picking up new burdens like little packages that need my care. And I start to worry more and more that if I don't tend to them, no one else will care.

This is a problem in my life.

This might be my biggest struggle against God.

I have a hard time letting go because I care so much. Recently, a mockingbird made a nest in our maple tree, and I started using leashes when I took the dogs outside because I was just sure they were going to get the birds. I fretted and fretted and prayed and prayed and prayed, and one day I went out there and found the nest on the ground. This was very upsetting to me. Just three mockingbird eggs, but they had life. And I feel this ever-present responsibility to care for life.

Have you been there? Maybe your circumstances are different, but do you pick up little burdens throughout your days and hold on to them as if they won't inevitably bring you down? As if they somehow need your care to be okay?

God has been teaching me two things lately. Letting go, and that little acts of faith matter. Let me explain.

What is faith if we cannot, at the end of it all, simply let go to God? 

Many times, when we feel this urge to tend to things, it comes from a good heart. I am passionate about creation and want to care for it the best I can. Praying about these things is good. Praying as a vehicle for control is not. There's this fine line where we step back and realize that our attempts to please God are nothing and that He simply wants us. Not that we shouldn't bring our concerns, our hearts to God, but rather, if we pick them right back up afterwards, what good has it done?

And then the other thing--how little acts of faith matter. I don't know about you, but I live under this constant feeling of not being good enough. I don't know where this came from. I was never in an environment that perpetuated this tendency, so the only conclusion I can draw is that it must've come from somewhere deep within. I am a perfectionist. I like things well-done, but I am rarely satisfied. And so when I am filling my figurative backpack with all these heavy rocks, they begin to weigh on me. I inevitably try to tackle the problems myself, all at once. And I always, always fail. Oh, it may look like a great success to the outside eye. But I know where I could've done better. And this makes me tired.

But is this the life God has called us to? Has He not given us a framework for laying these burdens down, once and for all? Has He not offered us peace instead of the worry that comes when we become overly invested in solving our own problems?

Last night, God led me to Hebrews 11 before bed. Speaking of which--daily quiet times, there's a great example of a situation where I always feel like I'm dropping the ball. Can you relate? I wish I had space to copy the whole chapter here, so instead, I'm going to give this link: http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Hebrews+11&version=NIV

"Now faith," it says, "is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for."

The rest of the chapter goes on to outline some of the giants of the faith and all of a sudden, you come to see the Old Testament is this beautiful outline of people who believed God, and it was counted to them as "righteousness." Moses is one of the examples given, and I'm always amazed by that, because really, it would seem Moses lost his faith in God's promise, would it not? But he still gets a shout-out. Which is so encouraging, isn't it, to know our faith doesn't have to be perfect in order for it to count.

I hope you're encouraged today to know God loves you right where you are. And as well all strive to be better, to do things well as we run around throughout the day, may we also remember the reason behind it all.

Staying Organized

Lest you read the title of today's blog post and think I actually am organized, let me begin my saying I often choose blog topics according to what I am learning at the time, and organization is definitely something I'm still in the process of learning. Moment of transparency: sometimes it is so difficult to just sit down and write! Why is that? Do you ever feel that way? I get everything set up and ready to go... candle burning, Peppermint Patties in hand... all the writing essentials... and then I end up watching Everybody Loves Raymond.

But God always equips us with the tools and the resources necessary for our calling. He never expects us to produce something that's out of our capacity to achieve. That's the thing about grace. But the thing about faith is, it always pushes us farther than we knew we could go. Which can, at times, be scary.

So how can we take charge of our time and resources, even our ideas, to use these things in the most productive manner? Some of you lead super busy momma lives, struggling to find any free time; and others of you are like me--depending on the semester you may have so much free "writing" time that you find yourself always getting distracted in a season that's supposed to be uber-productive.

I think these concepts also apply not just to time, but also to ideas. Something that frustrates me about the first draft of a project is that I don't have all my ideas in place yet. So I hope these concepts help you in that arena as well.

• Get time where you can. Even if it's only fifteen minutes here or there between washing dishes or folding laundry, those fifteen minutes add up.

• Make the most of your thoughts throughout the day. Brainstorm and daydream about your characters, as well as their emotional responses, in the Chick Fil A drive through line so that by the time you get back to your laptop, you waste no time before fleshing these ideas out.

• Keep things (ideas, chapters, writing, books, resources, laptop) easily accessible and keep yourself from distractions.

• As best you can, dedicate a writing "time" like a regular office job would dictate. Organize your time and protect it. Be sure others respect it as they would a more formal job because it is, indeed, a "real" job.

• When it comes down to it, relax. You are not going to be completely organized all the time, and that is okay. You have to think about what is really important in life, and be satisfied with productivity. You are not going to be able to achieve all things at all times. So are you going to choose to always feel inadequate, or are you going to be proud of what you have accomplished?

Do you ever struggle with organization, whether it's time, mental organization, or something else? What helps you stay organized?

Therefore, Encourage

Yesterday, I met one of my friends from college at a coffee shop and talked about writing. Talking with her has been such a privilege because for years now, I have considered her one of the most talented writers I know. Throughout my graduate work, she was this ever-shining beacon of faith amidst the cynicism that often accompanies a secular university. We don't even know each other that well, but I have always looked up to her.

Recently, after taking several years away from writing, she's felt God calling her back to the craft in a new way. I sat there listening as she explained what a cool thing it's been to watch God use her education training in a direction she never would've expected. She's been coming up with all these article ideas left and right, and the more she writes, the more that comes to her mind.

As she continued to tell me about her journey, I felt myself getting excited, because I can see what's ahead of her. I can imagine and envision things she's yet to even imagine or dream.

I often feel this way about Angie Dicken, my critique partner. You may think I'm biased because I adore her, but I promise I'm being fair! She really is as great of a writer as I make her sound. Side note, you can find here blog here if you're interested: http://www.supamomthoughts.blogspot.com/ . So Angie writes historical romance, and she has this ability to intricately weave cultures. She also is mind-boggling good at constructing the story world so that you as the reader just want to jump right in to the setting alongside the characters. Because she writes something more unique, she hasn't had as easy of a sell as some others who fit the formula mold. But the thing is, I see God's hand all over her writing, and mark my words, she is going to make it BIG someday because her skills and voice are unmatched. When I'm reading Angie's writing, even her first drafts, I am always floored by how beautiful her prose is, and I wish she could see how truly talented she really is.

Do any of you subscribe to Bible Gateway's verse of the day? Well, the verse today was 1 Thessalonians 5:11. It says, "So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing."

Aren't the effects of community and encouragement amazing? I look at my own writing, and how far a little bit of encouragement or kindness has taken me, especially when spoken from someone I look up to. And then it dawned on me--what if I have the power, the ability, to uplift other people in the same way?


What if I can see a vision in other people's lives that they can't see in themselves? And if that's the case, what am I going to do about it?

So as you go about your day today, I pray you feel the encouragement of others who God has put alongside you in this journey. Maybe you see amazing fruit coming out of someone's life. Speak words of vision into them, because chances are they don't see the same thing in themselves.

Do you have any people in your life who this applies to? How have you been affected and encouraged by community? What can we do to foster an environment of encouragement?

Writing The Alpha Male

This post is predominantly for romance writers, but regardless of your genre, I hope you'll get something out of it! Thanks for all the comments lately and the recent follows. It's a lot more fun writing blogs when you know someone is reading. :)

What do you think of when I say "alpha male?"

Because what I think is, "Gag me. This isn't 1945." Alright, alright--that's a little harsh. But I have this sensitivity toward the demeaning of women's God-given roles, particularly the beautiful strength of a nurturing heart, and this is something close to my heart.

But last weekend, my husband and I watched Thor. And let's just say I had a change of heart.

Helllloooooo, alpha male.

Could be that I have a weakness for Norwegians, but really, I think it's more than that. I'm watching this movie that I expected to only-kind-of like, and falling in love with Thor's character. If you haven't seen it yet, it's at Redbox now. Go watch it and consider it homework.

So I'm sitting there, thinking to myself, what is it about this guy that I like so much? Why is his arrogance not bothering me at all? And how can I write characters who readers will love so much? Here are a few things I came up with. Please keep in mind that these are generalizations that will not apply to every character, every situation, or every reader. They're just helpful guidelines.

1) Women like a man who can take care of them. But they also want to have their own hero moment. That's why so many alpha male characters are strong, witty, or otherwise very gifted at something. A dashing physique is always a win, but think about characters like old-school Rick Castle (early episodes)--they show competence through intellect. Another character who comes to mind is McGarrett from the new Hawaii Five O. Who doesn't want a guy like that around? Be sure the heroine gets her own moment in the spotlight, too. We like a woman who's brave. She might not be fighting off dragons, but maybe she's got to make a tough choice by sacrificing something important to her. It helps if she's choosing the protection the hero is offering rather than having it dumped upon her. (Having a persistent hero wooing the heroine also works well because you're showing not only the hero's confidence, but also the heroine's own spunk.)

2) Women like a man with confidence. Sometimes this will include arrogance for an alpha male character, but you have to be careful that doesn't go too far. A little pride is charming so long as it's channelled in the right place. Think of Mr. Darcy. That's part of the reason we all love him. But if the arrogance is causing your hero to be demeaning toward your heroine, that's going to become a problem.

3) Women like a man who's suave. Think Cary Grant. The guy from Footloose. We like a man who knows how to compliment us. Awkward flirting might be cute in real life, but it's not cute in novels. At least, not more than once or twice. At heart, your hero's got to find his charm. Readers want to imagine themselves with this guy.


4) Women like a good leader. I honestly think this stems back to an innate desire for the marriage relationship to parallel the relationship with Christ and the church. So if you're thinking about how you can go about making your hero a good leader, look to God. Keep in mind your hero won't be perfect, though... he needs flaws. But he should have the capability of handling situations well. Once again, be careful you don't make your heroine look stupid in the process. You want these qualities of the hero to compliment the heroine, rather than stomping her down.

5) Women like a man who's romantic and sensitive under it all. The best alpha males are the ones who have a sensitive side, because we as women really like to see a tough, bad boy male character open up. It's a challenge to us. So first create the hard shell, and then show why it's there... what's the soft spot? The contrast this will have with the typical alpha male characteristics will help with sparks-fly romance.

I hope these tips have helped you think about ways to create that masculine charm in your male characters. Can you think of anything else to add to the list? Who are some of your favorite alpha males? Why?

Photos from http://moviecarpet.com/2011/01/11/french-thor-poster/, http://www.soundonsight.org/score-at-the-half-–%C2%A0hollywood%C2%A0-zero-audience-even-less/thor-movie-500x333/

Running for Our Calling

I Corinthians 10:31, "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God."

Recently I saw a teenager from church post this verse on his Facebook status as a way to shame people out of watching movies because they can't glorify God, apparently. And that bothered me, so it got me to thinking, why do we as the church have such a hard time with this concept? And what does living our lives for the glory of God really look like?

The best I can tell, it has a lot more to do with the motivations behind our actions than the actions themselves. Sure, we should avoid sin, but what if there's more to it than that? What if we have a higher calling, something to run . . . towards instead of away from?

We often hear this verse associated with things we shouldn't do. Don't watch R rated movies. Don't have sex out of wedlock. Don't say curse words or look at pornography. And I agree wholeheartedly--it's of vital importance that as Christians, we avoid these things. That we avoid the sins that would burden God's heart and make Him displeased.

But there's so much more to live for.

Notice what the verse is really saying. It's not a list of things we shouldn't be doing. You often hear teenagers asking youth ministers about the lines of appropriate behavior. How much is too much when it comes to difficult friendships, dating unbelievers, even kissing. But what is wrong with our doctrine that we've encouraged young believers to ask these things, to come to think of faith as a line we shouldn't cross rather than a marvelous light we're running toward?

Far from a list of sins to avoid, this verse takes on a different tone entirely. The English major in me can't escape the word "for" in the latter part of this passage. We are to do everything for the glory of God. Wow. Now there's a new thought entirely.

God has given you, and He's given me, the blessing of today. Often, I find myself going through the day, satisfied to not commit any blatant sins. But battles are never won simply because warriors didn't do anything that day worth mentioning.

God has placed a purpose upon your life, upon your heart. Allow me to encourage you today. We aren't made to be running away from something. We're meant to run toward something else entirely. Whether that's smiling at your kids while you're doing the dishes, or whether that's polishing the WIP you feel will never see the light of a bookstore, remind yourself today. God has a plan for your heart, for your life. And sometimes the littlest steps accomplish the biggest things.

Happy Memorial Day!

Wishing everyone a happy and safe Memorial Day today! I was thinking about this holiday earlier this morning. Have I ever really taken a step back to let the level of sacrifice sink in? The fact that people have willingly given their lives for this legacy of freedom I am so used to living every day? If you or a loved one has personally sacrificed something for our country, I say a special thanks to you today. I have close friends, best friends, whose husbands are facing deployment, and I've come to see those sacrifices with a whole new level of appreciation lately. Let's take some time to thank God and our peers for what we have come to know as normal in our country.

We'll get back to the regular post schedule again Wednesday, but until then, if you have a second, please share your thoughts with me in the poll below. Thanks everyone!

Poll!

Hi y'all! I'm doing some research for a blog I'm writing and would love to hear your answers to these questions:

Do you ever feel overwhelmed by that first draft of a book? What strategies do you have to keep yourself on task?

Thanks in advance for your help! I can't wait to hear your responses.