Where Are We Getting Validation?

Today, Robin Jones Gunn posted the following quote on her Facebook: "Faith is seeing light with your heart, when all your eyes see is darkness."

Wow. So beautiful, and so true.

Only halfway through the week, and I've already gotten some very good news as well as some not-great news regarding my writing. Do you ever have weeks like that, where suddenly all the answers you've been waiting for seem to come at once? 

It's amazing how often we confuse things going our way with validation. Have you noticed that? This idea challenged me as I read Jesus Calling yesterday. The passage said when our will and God's will are in sync, we tend to feel in control of our lives, and I would take that a step further by saying we also tend to see our circumstances as validation of our calling.

The problem with that response is that, while circumstances can certainly be encouraging or discouraging, they do not substantiate, nor create, nor validate our calling.

Only God can do that.

Things not working out the way you wanted them to does not mean God has forgotten about you, changed His mind about His promise, or has stopped loving you deeply. It just means that for whatever reason, your desires have gotten out of sync. The good news is, Proverbs says when we delight ourselves in the Lord, He gives us the desires of our hearts, so that our desires come to meld with his own. I think one of the biggest times we feel this conflict is when we begin to look for validation outside of God alone.

I was so excited yesterday when I received good news. More on that to come soon, I promise! I felt like everything was falling into place, and God was reminding me why He put me on this writing journey in the first place. And maybe He was doing just that. But then today, when a very nice not-right-for-us-now rejection came, those feelings of affirmation vanished as they were once again replaced by "keep waiting."

We often ask how to sustain our hearts and minds during the waiting game. 

But I think we're asking the wrong question. 

I think a better question would be how to look toward God alone for validation, regardless of what is going on.

Circumstances change. Contracts are signed, stories are rejected, and there's a lot of waiting going on in between. If we're not careful, our emotions get caught on this roller coaster ride. Some of that is a natural emotional response, but I think God is calling us not to waste the time He has provided. 

If you are waiting, learn to put your hope in God alone. Apply yourself to learning the writing craft. Discipline yourself to become a better writer. But above all, realize that your calling is about deepening your relationship with God. No publisher or agent or future readership can validate that, nor can they take it away.

I've always thought it was a euphemism when people said, "Don't worry about contracts. All that matters is that you're following God." Easy for them to say, when their story isn't on the line, right? But really, I'm learning there's so much truth in that sentiment. Right now, your focus may be finding an agent or a publishing house. Maybe it's expanding your already-existent audience or moving to a larger publishing house. Maybe it's sales numbers or bestseller lists. These goals are fine to make, because they give us forward motion. But the thing is, they are never ending. If we attempt to find our validation in goals, we will never find it at all. Instead, we must look to God, where our validation has been all along.

Do you find yourself looking to things like contracts or sales numbers for markers of success? How can we shift our focus to the more profitable goal of fulfilling our calling each day?

What to Bring to the ACFW Conference: Healthy Expectations

The ACFW Conference is just weeks away, and everyone is buzzing about it. I'm planning to do a series of blogs each Monday until then to help you feel more prepared for the conference experience if you're planning to attend. This will be my third year at the conference, and every year, I learn so much both about writing and the ways to make the most out of your conference experience.

For the first blog in this series, I want to talk about something I think is so important for a positive conference experience, and that is having healthy expectations. Any time we invest a lot of our resources into something, whether it be our heart, our finances, or our time (or a combination of these things), we often feel we need to get some kind of return from that investment. It's only natural to feel this way. But today I want to challenge you to think through what kind of return you are expecting from your conference experience.

Many new conference attendees feel they won't have a successful conference unless they sign a book deal with their dream publishing house, or sign a contract with an agent. Let's face it: meeting face-to-face with editors and agents is one of the most exciting opportunities available for conference attendees, and one of the strongest motivators for spending the kind of money it takes to get to a conference like ACFW. It's perfectly fine to make these things a goal and to hope for them. But if that's your measure of success, you have a problem. Because you may be operating outside of God's timetable and instead, inside of your own.

Conferences are about establishing relationships, not signing contracts. If you get a contract out of it, great. But don't make that your goal going in, because you're bound to be disappointed. Even if you do end up with an agent or a publisher because of a meeting you had at a conference, that process is likely to take months. An editor interested in your project may not even look at your proposal for a year. I hate to be a buzz kill, but that's the truth. Now, there are always exceptions, so don't let that get you down. I signed with Karen one month after last year's conference. So it does happen. But just realize that in the writing world, things often take time. Even if an editor or agent adores you, they probably won't offer you a contract on the spot. But a girl can dream, right? :)

So how can we go into the conference with healthy expectations for our experience?

• Open hearts. God has a way of changing our plans, replacing them with dreams that are way bigger than our own. If your heart is closed to His whispers, you may miss out. If you find the lunch table you wanted to eat at is already full, cast off your disappointment, hold your head high, and look for other opportunities. You never know... a chance to eat with your dream agent or editor (maybe someone you'd never even planned to talk with) may be just around the corner. Each conference, I am always amazed and humbled how God has His own plan for my being there and leads me to people I never would've expected I would be able to network with.

• Flexibility. The thing about being open to God's plan is that it often means being flexible, something I struggle with. During my first conference, I reached the point of sheer exhaustion and knew I needed only one thing: sleep. I set my alarm for a couple hours later than I'd planned, canceled my agent appointment in hopes I could pick up a different one last minute (totally outside of this plan-everything girl's usual paradigm) and waltzed into Starbucks for a late breakfast. In the next fifteen minutes, I met an editor who remembered me the next year as she was waiting in line for coffee, and I picked up a last-minute appointment with a different editor that ended up in a full manuscript request. Sometimes in order to open our hands to reach out for what God is giving us, we first must let go of what we have been clinging to so desperately. That may mean being flexible in your plans. If things don't go as you'd planned, instead of getting in a funk, take a few deep breaths and open your eyes to the bigger opportunities that may be ahead of you. You never know. The very thing that seems like a disappointment to you may be paving the way toward a larger landscape of possibility.

• Holding on to dreams. Remember that you are here for a reason. Between the exhaustion, the pressure, and all the famous authors you'll be rubbing shoulders with (even if they are a humble bunch), you are bound to feel discouraged at least one point during your time at the conference. I know I always do. My first conference in particular, I remember hitting a wall at one point, going back to my room, and praying, "What in the world am I doing here? Do I even have what it takes to be a writer? These people around me all know what they are doing." I ended up at Johnny Rockets with a chocolate milkshake that worked a miracle. By the way, I realized I hadn't been outside in three days. Even at the conference, and I realize you want to "get the most bang for your buck" so to speak by taking advantage of opportunities, it is still very important that you take time for yourself to relax. You need to hold on to your dreams and remind yourself why you are there in the first place. Listen to the affirming whispers of God in your heart. Surround yourself with people who believe in your calling, and believe in theirs as well. God has brought you into this season of your life for a reason. Enjoy it, and hold on to that calling with all your might, no matter if your doubts say otherwise.

I think it's so important--yet so difficult!--to remember that at the end of the day, God has a plan for it all. He really does see us, just where we are. What it comes down to is whether or not we really trust and believe that. 

Lord, give us the faith to see what You see, the plans and dreams You have for our lives.

What tips do you have for having healthy expectations for the conference? How can healthy expectations help us to have a better conference experience?

Perfectionism and Procrastination

Recently I've been thinking a lot about the toll procrastination takes upon our writing. I'm starting a new book right now, and I've fought to get really going on it because every time I sit down to write, I feel like my story isn't yet good enough. Can you relate to that?

While I think pre-writing planning is extremely helpful. And I know with my current novel, it's made all the difference in helping me craft well-rounded characters and giving me an idea of their motivations. I've also already charted out some of my most important scenes and have a good idea where everything is heading.

But at some point, all that is not enough. At some point, you have to sit in the chair with your computer and just write.


And the first draft will probably be bad. That's okay. It happens to all of us. The important thing is pushing past those feelings of, "Oh my goodness. I have to delete this whole thing. Give me some chocolate," toward feelings of "Well, this is at least tolerable," toward a moment (perhaps far in the future) where you think, "Hey, this isn't half bad."

Michael Hyatt posted as his Facebook status tonight: "Perfectionism is the mother of procrastination."

Isn't that so true? When I read that, I thought to myself, "What a perfect way to phrase what I wanted to write my blog post about."

I have a problem. I like things well-done. Very well-done. So well-done that sometimes it keeps me from jumping toward the thing at all. But think of it this way. A poorly-written first draft can be edited. An unwritten story is of no benefit at all.

Sometimes we just have to step out and put one foot in front of the other until we learn to walk, to step into our story and into uncharted ground. Eventually we will find the beautiful fountain that is the story God has put within us. But we won't find that beautiful thing if we don't keep walking. It's the same thing with the Christian walk, really. Faith requires a certain element of stepping out into the unknown. Many times, we're okay with that. But it gets a lot more challenging when we're not sure of the steadiness of our own ability.

But what has God said of that? Philippians 1:6, "Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will complete it until the day of Christ Jesus." Take a second to let that soak in to your heart. When God calls us, He equips us. Sometimes He only gives us the tools we need for that next step of the journey, when we'd really like to have them all at once. But He knows how much we can handle. And the important thing is, the work He is doing in us is a good thing. It is a process. We do not step out in faith and suddenly arrive at spiritual perfection, and in the same way, we do not start writing and suddenly materialize a perfect story. But somehow, after many afternoons of sitting at the kitchen table alone and writing, or many late evenings filled with only the light of our laptops, we find a story. One that really sparkles and goes on to touch the lives of many.

So here's the thing. Keep writing.

:)

How do you combat those, "My story stinks" blues that inevitably come at the beginning or perhaps the middle of your story?

Photo from http://www.kineticfountains.com/articles/selecting-the-right-pond-fountain/